after a long winter's nap.....

I'm BACK. I've been well-aware of my blog negligence for quite some time now, and it got to the point where I was feeling a little bad about it. It isn't that I have nothing to write about, but more that a slight perfectionist tendency combined with laziness prevents me from writing often. I'm afraid my writing will stink, so I just don't write (0 blog posts also means 0 boring/stupid blog posts), and among the other things swirling around in my mental to-do list, blogging just usually doesn't top the list. But alas, I aspire to be better. Maybe I'll live up to this goal....or maybe it will be another 5 months until I write, who knows....

Instead of try to catch you up on EVERYTHING that has happened in the last 5 months (blogger.com would probably just shut down from the sheer size of that post, not to mention no one would read it..), I think I'll just blab a bit about some recent developments in life.

Since writing last, I've been to Ireland, Spain, Gibraltar, and France and Switzerland (ok maybe only in the Basel airport which is on the border of Switzerland and France). Trips to Italy, Switzerland (for real) and Croatia are in the works. Needless to say, I've never been on an airplane with greater frequency. Traveling is just one of those fun little perks you get when you live in Europe. You can just pop into another country for a few hours....and I actually have a visa now, which makes the suspicious questioning by the German customs workers much less likely.

Contrary to what it might sound like, I'm not living in Europe this year so I can go cool places and up my "countries I've been to" count. What I am here to do, however, is to more deeply understand the mystery and beauty of what Christ did for me when he took my sin upon Himself on the cross, and then defeated sin and death when he rose from the dead. And from this deeper understanding should come an overflow of love and gratitude for God's grace that compels me to share said amazing grace with everyone I come into contact with. Sometimes my sin gets in the way of this happening...but God has been breaking through the walls I put up. This year has been certainly been pushing me in a ton of ways. God's sovereignty and complete self-sufficiency are taking on a whole new meaning as He teaches me about how sometimes I make Him small and people big...when reality is the exact opposite. I'm experiencing His steady presence, and finding more joy in reading His Word and spending time with Him in prayer than ever before. And He's been breaking my heart more than ever for people who are lost and stumbling around in darkness. I say all of this with the full knowledge that it is completely God accomplishing this work in me, not me being any sort of spiritual giant. Sometimes, in fact, He works in and through me in spite of me!

I heard some speaker at some conference (I've been to a few...)say that the people on your team (speaking about a STINT team I think) are God's provision for you and through our relationships we can, Lord willing, display and herald the gospel to one another. I've seen this already this year, in both giving and receiving grace and unconditional love from my amazing teammates.

There's one relationship in particular God has used to clearly communicate his love and unmerited favor towards me.

Get ready, this is going to shock some of you.

There is a particularly special young man, by the name of Zack Boren, who is a lawyer in the JAG Corp stationed in Mannheim, Germany. Because of his connection with the Berlin team from last year and several Northwestern University relationships on our team, Zack and his friend Jeremy spent the Thanksgiving holiday in Berlin this year. Shortly after meeting him at Thanksgiving, he sent me a message on facebook that was of considerable length - making me think, hmmm, wait, is he writing these to everyone on our team? I didn't need to be confused for long, however, because he took the bold approach (men, take note: this is a GOOD THING!) and let me know he was coming back to Berlin soon - with friends - but he wanted to take me to coffee and get to know me better one-on-one. Soon after a delightfully long chat over coffee we found ourselves talking on the phone a few times a week and more visits to Berlin were in the works. The next time he was in Berlin we went for Thai food and what had been brewing now became official - I have a boyfriend. !!!! :)

Let me explain, first of all, that this is kind of an unusual thing to happen during STINT. We've got quite a few "norms" in place that protect us from a lot of pain but also prevent us from dating most people we come in contact with during the year (namely nationals and other people on our team). Somehow Zack is the exception to all of these rules. He's not on my STINT team, and nor is he a national (He is, in fact, from my home state of IL!) So to say I wasn't expecting this coming into STINT would be a drastic understatement - but this surprise was and is one I thank God for.

So, how does Zack communicate the gospel of Christ to me? In a thousand different ways, but I could name a few here...I never feel like I have to work in order for him to care about me, he likes me just for who I am. His mere presence in my life is simply a gift I don't deserve, much less his kindness and affection towards me. His love for the Lord and for deeply understanding the truths of His Word encourages and challenges me. Though I know we are both far from perfect, the Lord is already using him to change me to become more like Christ. And that, my friends, is a beautiful thing.

so any more questions about this mysterious / dashingly handsome young man appearing in photos with me on facebook may be directed here - here is the story :)